Northern Utah Women's Golf Association

Monday, February 20, 2012

BENEFITS

Lee Trevino - a true story - you gotta love him...

One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a

professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas , Texas

mowing his front lawn, as he always did.

A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his

house, lowered the window and asked, "Excuse me, do you speak English ?"

Lee responded, "Yes M'aam, I do"

The lady then asked, "What do you charge to do yard work ?"

Lee said, "Well, the lady in this house lets me sleep with her".

The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off.

Monday, February 13, 2012

I NEVER KNEW THIS!!! THIS WARNING INVOLVES SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY AS YOU SHOWER WITH IT!!!!
I HAVE JUST RECEIVED THIS WARNING!

Shampoo Warning
I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!
I use shampoo in the shower!
When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and
Printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,

"FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY."

No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to

start showering with Dawn dish soap instead.
Its label reads,

"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved!
If I don't answer the phone, I'll be in the shower!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

LETTERMAN'S TOP 10

David Letterman’s Top Ten Reasons Why Golf Is Better Than Sex…
#10… A below par performance is considered damn good.
#09… You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#08… It’s much easier to find the sweet spot.
#07… Foursomes are encouraged.
#06… You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#05… Three times a day is possible.
#04… Your partner doesn’t hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#03… If you live in Florida, you can do it almost every day.
#02… You don’t have to cuddle with your partner when you’re finished.
And the NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex…
#01… When your equipment gets old you can replace it!

Monday, December 26, 2011

NEW YEAR'S ADVICE

From one of our members:

I would like to share an experience with you all, about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social outings over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many cocktails. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

FUN STUFF

ENJOY!

Football and the Blonde

Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best -- because it makes football make sense!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was... 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"